Time (and the power & wisdom to

choose what to do with it!)


Hi Friends! How's the start of your week? Hope it was a blast!

As promised, I will now attempt to answer the 3rd and final question for this month, from Deboshree. She asked a very interesting question, and not very easy to answer. Although the answer for me is quite blatantly clear and glaringly obvious, I have to re-think my answer a few times, so that I will be able to be positive and help to encourage her, as she journeys into the working world in a few years' time.

Her question was:

You have worked for quite a few years and I haven't experienced anything from that sphere of life. People tell me that one gets less idealistic and more flexible with their morals as time passes.They lose their energy and drive to make a difference and simply learn to go with the flow. Is that so and if so,why??

Deboshree, to be honest... this is a tough one. I had seen that happen to many of my friends, including myself - we experienced what you had described in your question i.e. become less idealistic, loose in their morals, lose the energy and drive to make a difference in this world, and go with the flow... some worse than what you had listed.

Let's talk about myself. Well, I'm not perfect. I'm still human. I make mistakes. So there was a time when I had a lot of dreams, hence the birth of the name of this blog. A lot of things I desired to be, to do and to achieve for God. Things to make this world a better place, less suffering, people getting a "second chance" at life, and helping people enjoy the fullness of life.

When I started working, things slowly started to change. From having more than 10 hours of free time a day back in the university days, I was faced with less than one third of that in the weekdays. Yup, I'm talking about having about 3 hours of free time per day. There was less time to do things that I enjoy. There was less time to think, to dream, to hope. No time to lose. No time to pause and evaluate. No time at all.

You might ask, what about that 3 hours of free time per day? Yes, I still have some remaining time every day, but guess what? I was going through a taxing relationship, and a string of other miscellaneous chores took away every bit of that free time.

Ok, let's pause a little bit and take a look at what I had shared.

Firstly, not everyone gets a remainder of 3 hours of free time per day like me. Because of the nature of my work, I had to work long hours, and sometimes, over the whole night i.e. no sleep, and had to continue working the next day. Some might be more blessed with a 9 to 5 job, and gets to go back sharp every day. Not me. Although on paper I have a 9 to 5 job, realistically, my working hours are 7 to 10. AM and PM respectively, that is. Being tired physically, mentally and spiritually most of the time, there isn't much time and energy left to spend on anything else, is there?

Secondly, not everyone goes through a taxing relationship like me. I don't want to sound like I'm bad-mouthing that girl, but the truth is, she was a very demanding person. She demanded that we go out on a date every day. If not a physical date, a phone date... every single day. Weekends are one-whole-day dates. Oh, by the way, I am referring to the girl before I met my wife.

I just don't know how did I survive that one year, but I just did. It was super tough. There was absolutely no time at all for myself, no time for thinking of what's happening and what's to do, what's to achieve, what's to dream. It was a year I completely lose myself, lost sight of what I dreamt of, lost sight of what I wanted to achieve. I lost touch with people that I love, people close to my heart - my family and friends.

So if you ask me, I honestly and straightforwardly confess that I was the perfect specimen of your question, when I started working. I was everything - less idealistic, lose morals, less energy and drive to make a difference, going with the flow.

But did I like what I had become back then? Not at all. Did I want to become like that, had I the choice? Absolutely not. But did I have the power to choose? Definitely, but I didn't choose wisely. Did love "blind" me? I think so!

It was a hard-learnt lesson. I learnt many things... Firstly, work will always be there, whether you work hard at it, or less hard at it. So learn to have a balanced life, a life not all spent in the office. Did I regret spending almost all my time in the past 6 years in the office? Partly, yes, because doing that did not get me any closer to where I want to be in my life.

Secondly, as hard as it seems to be, try not to get "blinded" by love, especially if it's one that's not worth pursuing. During then, I lacked the maturity and the wisdom to see through the doomed relationship. Getting into a taxing relationship is a big no-no especially if you are just starting to enter the workforce.

Thirdly, don't lose sight of your dreams, your goals, your visions. Write it down. Keep reminding yourself of it. Keep track of your progress. Think, think and think again. Does doing this thing or that thing bring you any closer to achieving it? Or further away? There's nothing you can do humanly to retract or undo lost TIME.



You are a caring and smart girl, and I can see a lot of goodness and potential in you, Deboshree. Though I do not know you that long nor that well yet, I just believe that you can do it, that you have a big and bright future ahead of you. Keep dreaming, keep hoping, keep loving!

PS# Hope I answered your question!